Time is that quality of
nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem
to be working. ~~JD
Tears may be dried up, but
the heart - never.-- Marguerite de Valois
Man is born to live, not to prepare for life.-- Boris Pasternak
You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience with a
woman. ~~SR
There are 10^11 stars in
the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion.
It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical
numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.
~~SM
After all, all he did was
string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L.
Mencken, on Shakespeare
We need a president who's
fluent in at least one language. -- Buck Henry
This is like deja vu all over again. -- Yogi Berra
If the men who make the
decisions are the people who will also bear the consequences of those
decisions, perhaps better decisions will result, now they just blame
everything on women. ~~KB
Sunny
97.3’s
cool
Word
Of
The
Day
Steve’s
and Scott’s Whooshing Wiener Riddle
What word/phrase is described by the following
rebus?
Julio Iglesias
Lana Turner
Dinah Shore
John Wayne
Robert Redford
John Ireland
Elizabeth Taylor
John Travolta
Barbara Eden
Jack Nicholson
Hay
Hay
Hay
blithesome
\BLYTHE-sum\
|
|
adjective
Meaning
|
|
: gay, merry
Example
Sentence
|
|
In The Gilded Age: A Tale of To-Day, Mark Twain's Laura, who had been
struck by love, wondered why she had never before noticed "how blithesome
the world was."
The Start of Steve, Scott, and
Johnny’s Oneliners.
Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man.
Landing is first.
I try to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
If money won't make you happy, you won't like poverty either.
Many people's tombstones should read died at 30, buried at 60.
The generation that criticizes the younger generation is always the one that
raised it.
I had a nostalgic English teacher who found the past perfect and the present
tense.
Happiness has one great advantage over Money. People don't try to borrow it.
At my age, getting a second doctor's opinion is kinda like switching slot
machines.
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered
automatic weapons.
The missing link between man and monkey can be found in today's politicians.
What will happen to work when the trend toward longer education meets the
trend toward earlier
retirement?
I just saw the animals in my neighborhood lining up two by two. Should I be
worried?
There's probably nothing wrong with the younger generation that the older
generation didn't outgrow.
My doctor says I've got something going for me.
However, he can't stop any of it from going.
What the caterpillar calls the end, the butterfly calls the beginning.
Health is wealth and it's tax-free!
Joke
#1
On duty as a
customer-service rep for a car-rental
company, I took a call from a driver who needed a
tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he
didn't know the make of the car he was driving.
I asked again for a more detailed description beyond
a "blue, four-door sedan."
"It's the one on fire," he replied.
Joke
#
2
So Noah is waiting by his ark. Waiting for all the animals that God has
promised will squeeze into the boat that he's built.
And then he sees them. Great numbers of beasts all converging on where he's
standing. So he lowers the gang-plank, and watches as the animals start
filing on board, two-by-two.
And as they go into the ship, Noah can be heard passing comments on each
animal that goes by - "Hmmm... two horses," he says, "they don't taste very
nice, but they're edible," and "Ooh! Two sheep. I love roast lamb".
And so it goes on, for each pair of animals, Noah counts going on board, he
says something about what they're like to eat. Eventually Noah's son can
stand it no longer, and he goes to his mother to ask why.
She answers: "Well, there's Noah counting for taste."
To which the son replies: "Now I've herd everything."
Joke
#
3
Maw is
outside hangin up the laundry, when she hears Paw in the kitchen.
Maw
walks in and says, "Paw, get out there and fix that there outhouse."
Paw
says, "All right, Maw."
Paw
walks out to the outhouse, looks at it, and says, "Maw, there ain't nothin'
wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw
says, "Yes, there is. Put your head down in the hole."
Paw
says "I ain't puttin my head in that there hole!"
Maw
says, "Well you're gonna have to if'n you're gonna fix the problem!"
Paw
puts his head down in the hole (just a little bit mind ya) and he hollers,
"Maw, there ain't nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw
hollers, "Now pull your head out of the hole."
Paw
goes to lift up his head and he says, "Oww! OWW! Maw! MAW, my beard's stuck
in the cracks in the seat!"
Maw
says, "Aggravatin', ain't it?"
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
It's written in the stars (using each star's last name, the initials spell "itswritten").